We all have an inner critic. That voice that torments us, that tells us we are not worthy, too much, not enough…
The inner critic is often rampant on those days in our cycle where the glass feels half empty or everything just feels too much. Last month on day 24 I had an epic critic attack. It hit me in the middle of teaching a workshop… a relentless voice that convinced me that all is hopeless. “You are too damaged to ever live a functional life, be happy or be in a relationship” it insisted. I spent a day considering cancelling all the future plans I had made and just giving up. What was the point? Everything felt utterly pointless and hopeless.
It was only the next day I realised this was my inner critic testing me, and it was related to my cycle.
The rightful place of our inner critic is in the Autumn of our cycle. This is the time where we become more internal, where we confront ourselves, where our bullshit detector is sharpened.
The sacred purpose of our inner critic I believe is to make sure we and the world around us is in integrity and living our highest purpose, and to reveal anything that is in the shadows. I feel like my inner critic keeps me vigilant and awake – the moment I tip into unconsciousness, my inner critic comes up to test me. What is really true? What do you really stand for?
Often we are so used to the constant chatter of the inner critic we become fused with it. . . Developing a relationship with my inner critic, cultivating the ability to discern whether it’s worth listening to and decoding the gifts behind it has been a very powerful gift of my cycle awareness. The ability to recognise that there are an infinite number of filters and perspectives to see the world, that my filter is changing every day according to my cycle, gives me such a healthier relationship to my shifting moods and internal weathers. I can greet them, surf them, find the hidden gifts in them, and know that This Too Shall Pass. Even if it takes me a day sometimes to remember